Author's Note: This story proves that everyone makes a difference and leaves a scar good or bad so deep it will never heal in life or death. I suppose when people pass on they are happy, but their loved ones' heart throb and ache, longing to be together once more. It's the struggle of losing a special person in our lives; it's our choice whether to carry on or stay in the past and do something about it.
Dear Lia,
I always know that this letter makes me sad already. I know you’ve already passed away five years ago from that brain tumor. I’m so, so, so sorry that I just started writing this first letter now, even though you can’t be here to read it. One day I want the entire world to know that you’re the one I’ve looked up to as my sister and hero since I could walk. Your memory makes my eyes water. Honestly, I don’t think it was fair that you passed before you truly lived. I know you were only 15. I think it’s sad you never got to even drive, go to prom, get married, have kids, die when you were ready after you lived your life to the fullest. I miss you, a lot. People say that I should start looking to our older sister Lauren to help ease the pain. It’s not the same, even though I love her. Lauren is a full fledged official adult now. She can vote. In a way, it’s sad how time flies. (No, not literally by throwing a clock out the window either. Hahaha. I loved our inside jokes.) I’ll write more tomorrow.
Loved you once, love you still, always have, always will-
Lily
Sitting up, I wiped my cheeks of my tears. I quoted my sister and whispered, “They say that you never knew what you had until it’s gone. The truth is that you knew exactly what you had; you never thought you’d lose it.”
I was sick of carrying my depression around, as it weighed me down like I had chains on my wrists with a weighted metal ball that stopped me from being happy or moving forward. I love and miss her so much, almost too much to bare. Walls surrounded me, shading me from happy sunshine. Nothing was right without Lia.
Before she passed, she taught me quotes she read online. There are pictures with quotes all over her computer, which she left to me. Her doctor diagnosed her with the brain tumor too late. It was the kind they couldn’t detect until she had a year or less to live. I don’t blame the doctor or anyone, but I suppose it was meant to happen.
I turned on the computer. Waiting impatiently, I tapped on my desk. When the screen loaded, I opened the Internet. I typed in my blog web address and got to work intently.
I had a mission: let the world know my sister’s story.
That day. The very day that ended my life as I knew it.
"Ma, I'm so scared," I told my mother.
She frowned and then put on a hopeful smile. "Don't be, we'll see the test results soon enough," she reassured me. I could tell she was try to calm down herself too when she looked at the clock.
I went back to my crayon drawing and tried to focus on the pretty rainbow of color. Lia had organized the crayons by color so it looked like a rainbow. I wondered about Lia, but of course, I was younger and didn't understand too much.
After another hour, Lia came out with her face drained of color escorted by Dr. Marks. Both of them had solemn looks on their faces.
I was the first one to move so I bounded over to Lia and grabbed her waist.
She immeadiately returned the hug and started weeping.
Ma came running from her seat out of her state of shock and ran over to us, wrapping us in her loving embrace. Soon we were all one sobbing mess. Ma's mascara was running, my eyes got red and puffy and Lia's curls came undone.
The doctor shifted awkwardly and told us he'd return so he could take care of another patient.
And we stood there weeping.
Ma and I both knew right then what would happen to Lia.
”I’m home!” Lauren exclaimed as she walked through the door.
Everyone was silent.
Lia and Mom said hi then looked away. Dad was awkward and uncomfortable, trying to put a forced smile on his face. I sat there coloring a picture of Lia (of which I still have).
Dropping her keys on the counter, Lauren’s mouth formed an o and her eyes started tearing up. She dais softly, “Omigod, I’m so sorry, Lia.”
Mom glared at her as Lia and I started to tear up too, so Mom sent Lauren into the living room. “Go on,” Mom told Dad.
He went into the living room and I heard a lot of sobbing afterwards.
When we were all calmed down, we tried to sit down and have an ordinary family dinner, but emotions were running high and it was plain awkward. Of course, I was like five or six back then and didn't understand that much.
”I’m home!” Lauren exclaimed as she walked through the door.
Everyone was silent.
Lia and Mom said hi then looked away. Dad was awkward and uncomfortable, trying to put a forced smile on his face. I sat there coloring a picture of Lia (of which I still have).
Dropping her keys on the counter, Lauren’s mouth formed an o and her eyes started tearing up. She dais softly, “Omigod, I’m so sorry, Lia.”
Mom glared at her as Lia and I started to tear up too, so Mom sent Lauren into the living room. “Go on,” Mom told Dad.
He went into the living room and I heard a lot of sobbing afterwards.
When we were all calmed down, we tried to sit down and have an ordinary family dinner, but emotions were running high and it was plain awkward. Of course, I was like five or six back then and didn't understand that much.
